








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 650 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 276 matches | ||
| Renown | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,403 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2101 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3599 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4920 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3783 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,706,796 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1_HOLE_1 | 71% | 52 |
| #2 | GeNaNah | 62% | 134 |
| #3 | atom | 61% | 200 |
| #4 | Den1x | 60% | 410 |
| #5 | Signaturk4 | 59% | 582 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Den1x | 24 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Signaturk4 | 19 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | atom | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Kaban4ik | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | GeNaNah | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Signaturk4 | 3066 | 0.26 | 86 min |
| #2 | Den1x | 2960 | 0.35 | 92 min |
| #3 | atom | 509 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | meteora. | 369 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #5 | GeNaNah | 281 | 0.10 | 6 min |





