








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 575 | 24% |
| Smokes | 675 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 561 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 567 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $492,073 of utility $235 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Klasz | 100% | 8 |
| #2 | Heiße Biene 3 | 70% | 30 |
| #3 | richtigsauer | 55% | 44 |
| #4 | vexx | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | 「❀ony」🎀🌺 | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | wilfred | 33% | 9 |
| #14 | Dmrgy | 33% | 9 |
| #15 | elmosfire | 33% | 12 |
| #16 | dustinD | 29% | 7 |
| #17 | Harald_Toepfer | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 「❀ony」🎀🌺 | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Mylor | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Uabom | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | tankwart | 2 | 0.0161 |
| #5 | richtigsauer | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uabom | 164 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Heiße Biene 3 | 106 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | richtigsauer | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | 「❀ony」🎀🌺 | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Mylor | 43 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uabom | +2.53 | 71 | 70 |
| #2 | richtigsauer | +2.09 | 80 | 61 |
| #3 | tankwart | +1.53 | 45 | 46 |
| #4 | Heiße Biene 3 | +1.09 | 60 | 75 |
| #5 | Brainstorm | +0.80 | 41 | 37 |





