








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1544 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1084 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1111 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1030 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 951 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,912 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elmosfire | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | vexx | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | HeiΓe Biene 3 | 57% | 84 |
| #4 | Uabom | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | Harald_Toepfer | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Mylor | 45% | 22 |
| #11 | shmups only now | 44% | 9 |
| #12 | legovogel | 43% | 14 |
| #13 | swgr | 27% | 11 |
| #14 | sh33pish | 25% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | richtigsauer | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Uabom | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | HeiΓe Biene 3 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | wilfred | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Slinky Dog | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeiΓe Biene 3 | 306 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Uabom | 303 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | richtigsauer | 219 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | wilfred | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | vexx | 65 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | richtigsauer | +1.83 | 73 | 62 |
| #2 | Uabom | +1.61 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | legovogel | +1.38 | 84 | 71 |
| #4 | γβonyγππΊ | +0.34 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | HeiΓe Biene 3 | +0.01 | 56 | 76 |





