








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3602 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2956 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3094 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2228 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $783,047 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slinky Dog | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | vexx | 63% | 48 |
| #3 | 「❀ony」🎀🌺 | 57% | 84 |
| #4 | Uabom | 55% | 186 |
| #5 | richtigsauer | 55% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | legovogel | 50% | 28 |
| #9 | swgr | 48% | 27 |
| #10 | Harald_Toepfer | 48% | 27 |
| #11 | wilfred | 47% | 66 |
| #12 | Klasz | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uabom | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | 「❀ony」🎀🌺 | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | richtigsauer | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Klasz | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | vexx | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Uabom | 485 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | richtigsauer | 352 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | 「❀ony」🎀🌺 | 214 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | wilfred | 139 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | vexx | 108 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | richtigsauer | +2.42 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | Uabom | +1.38 | 67 | 68 |
| #3 | legovogel | +0.59 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | 「❀ony」🎀🌺 | +0.59 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | Heiße Biene 3 | +0.14 | 55 | 72 |





