








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 370 | 48% |
| Smokes | 110 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 111 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 185 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $33,488 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mist Vi | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | 37 | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | Blizzard | 67% | 18 |
| #4 | Chase | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | p0wer | 60% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | p0wer | 60% | 10 |
| #6 | Entasi | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | Mortis | 48% | 25 |
| #8 | JDash | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | JTA | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Entasi | 9 | 0.0203 |
| #2 | Mortis | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Blizzard | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Chase | 1 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | JTA | 1 | 0.0189 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Entasi | 149 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #2 | Blizzard | 112 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mortis | 105 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | Chase | 63 | 0.34 | 2 min |
| #5 | p0wer | 22 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JTA | +3.83 | 45 | 42 |
| #2 | Mist Vi | +1.88 | 60 | 57 |
| #3 | Entasi | +1.27 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Blizzard | +0.83 | 74 | 55 |
| #5 | p0wer | +0.77 | 81 | 48 |





