








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 912 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 236 matches | ||
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6130 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5274 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5552 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3953 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,116,128 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | game is cooked | 69% | 45 |
| #2 | geve | 67% | 42 |
| #3 | SHELDON LEE COOPER | 65% | 241 |
| #4 | SataniChElpMeplz | 65% | 31 |
| #5 | oppsmeister | 62% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | rusty | 57% | 125 |
| #11 | <Yami | 57% | 247 |
| #12 | BeeeepBooooop | 57% | 30 |
| #13 | amrasyrf | 55% | 119 |
| #14 | somean | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SataniChElpMeplz | 5 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | <Yami | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | RMZ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | amrasyrf | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | somean | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Los Santos Customs | 1021 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | <Yami | 980 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #3 | hack = retard | 470 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | SHELDON LEE COOPER | 411 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | rusty | 358 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SataniChElpMeplz | +4.54 | 91 | 62 |
| #2 | RMZ | +1.98 | 83 | 59 |
| #3 | SHELDON LEE COOPER | +1.96 | 77 | 62 |
| #4 | geve | +1.86 | 86 | 65 |
| #5 | x140 | +0.63 | 74 | 64 |





