








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1824 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1623 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2275 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1504 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,923 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Temmpp | 53% | 59 |
| #2 | jordaniaX | 48% | 33 |
| #3 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | slasher | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | M0X1T | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello, my friend | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Temmpp | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | jordaniaX | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | slasher | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hello, my friend | 105 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Temmpp | 94 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | jordaniaX | 93 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | slasher | 77 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 50 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeetus Hoonkus | +2.42 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | M0X1T | +2.12 | 87 | 50 |
| #3 | ♛Dippa | +0.46 | 75 | 66 |
| #4 | Temmpp | +0.24 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | slasher | -0.18 | 60 | 50 |





