








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 398 | 17% |
| Smokes | 330 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 907 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 738 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $167,310 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrikzJumper. | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Temmpp | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | EnRiQ-E | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | ♛Dippa | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrikzJumper. | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Temmpp | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | EnRiQ-E | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | ♛Dippa | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Temmpp | 9 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 8 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | TrikzJumper. | 6 | 0.0155 |
| #4 | ♛Dippa | 3 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Temmpp | 107 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Yeetus Hoonkus | 90 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | TrikzJumper. | 45 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♛Dippa | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | EnRiQ-E | 21 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yeetus Hoonkus | +3.44 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | TrikzJumper. | +3.36 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | ♛Dippa | +1.09 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | Temmpp | +0.59 | 84 | 63 |
| #5 | EnRiQ-E | -0.60 | 46 | 61 |





