








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 199 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Esplay | 8 matches | 2,038 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2011 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2640 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3209 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2409 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $834,073 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ,. 2snipe | 54% | 177 |
| #5 | Toerstig | 54% | 238 |
| #6 | B.e.N.z.Z | 53% | 17 |
| #7 | bachii | 52% | 159 |
| #8 | Billy Herrington | 52% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varning | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | ,. 2snipe | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Billy Herrington | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | bachii | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | B.e.N.z.Z | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toerstig | 765 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | Varning | 426 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #3 | ,. 2snipe | 235 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Billy Herrington | 102 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | bachii | 88 | 0.03 | 2 min |





