








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Esplay | 10 matches | 1,929 | |
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4180 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5642 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4376 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4492 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,594 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varning | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | ,. 2snipe | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | .:<^-⌜SwedenZero⌟ ◢◤ | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Billy Herrington | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | bachii | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Varning | 662 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | .:<^-⌜SwedenZero⌟ ◢◤ | 363 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | ,. 2snipe | 315 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | bachii | 151 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Billy Herrington | 107 | 0.04 | 3 min |





