








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3136 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,881 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2968 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3069 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2866 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1978 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $761,623 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Torpedo | 57% | 21 |
| #6 | Bombara | 56% | 70 |
| #7 | Aco | 52% | 65 |
| #8 | elevatorapple | 50% | 52 |
| #9 | yuungstar | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | megax | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | elevatorapple | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Irrumane | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Frizer | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Bombara | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frizer | 354 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Irrumane | 290 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | megax | 252 | 0.29 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bombara | 141 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Aco | 138 | 0.10 | 3 min |





