








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 48 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
502 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 530 | 21% |
| Smokes | 705 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 902 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 412 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $235,911 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torpedo | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | nysticmipple | 52% | 65 |
| #3 | Frizer | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | Bombara | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | Irrumane | 47% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Torpedo | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | nysticmipple | 52% | 65 |
| #3 | Frizer | 50% | 50 |
| #4 | Bombara | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | Irrumane | 47% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nysticmipple | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Irrumane | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Bombara | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Frizer | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nysticmipple | 272 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | Frizer | 212 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Irrumane | 182 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Bombara | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Torpedo | 33 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Frizer | +1.60 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | nysticmipple | +1.39 | 68 | 76 |
| #3 | Irrumane | +0.04 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | Bombara | -1.46 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | Aco | -1.70 | 43 | 55 |





