








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 820 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 131 matches | ||
| Esplay | 84 matches | 1,965 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5697 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5710 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4314 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4321 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,721,587 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1031 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lipslide | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | koenipstone | 50% | 124 |
| #3 | Sefruz | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | Vapesteel | 47% | 177 |
| #5 | fmtKruse | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lipslide | 52% | 46 |
| #2 | koenipstone | 50% | 124 |
| #3 | Sefruz | 49% | 98 |
| #4 | Vapesteel | 47% | 177 |
| #5 | fmtKruse | 41% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vapesteel | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Sefruz | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | fmtKruse | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Lipslide | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | koenipstone | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koenipstone | 571 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | Vapesteel | 464 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Sefruz | 208 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lipslide | 110 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | fmtKruse | 86 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fl4sh | +1.84 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | koenipstone | +1.14 | 81 | 74 |
| #3 | Sefruz | -0.85 | 49 | 54 |
| #4 | Vapesteel | -1.59 | 52 | 56 |
| #5 | fmtKruse | -2.44 | 54 | 49 |





