








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 268 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4563 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4095 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2400 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2392 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,011,982 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fl4sh | 47% | 177 |
| #2 | Lipslide | 45% | 182 |
| #3 | fmtKruse | 45% | 181 |
| #4 | koenipstone | 44% | 240 |
| #5 | Sefruz | 44% | 250 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koenipstone | 1139 | 0.24 | 30 min |
| #2 | Sefruz | 609 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | fl4sh | 609 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #4 | Lipslide | 429 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | fmtKruse | 282 | 0.08 | 6 min |





