








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2620 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4560 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2758 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2718 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,994,523 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vapesteel | 13 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | koenipstone | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | fl4sh | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | fmtKruse | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Lipslide | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koenipstone | 946 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #2 | Vapesteel | 738 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | Lipslide | 308 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | fl4sh | 294 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | fmtKruse | 196 | 0.07 | 4 min |





