








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 897 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7052 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9662 | 45% |
| Smokes | 6246 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4578 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 769 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,678,555 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 287 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | RD Sniper | 40% | 97 |
| #6 | Loki Fire | 40% | 404 |
| #7 | Harloh | 39% | 199 |
| #8 | burnzyhq | 36% | 95 |
| #9 | KZoldyck | 34% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loki Fire | 19 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ็ | 19 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | RD Sniper | 18 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Fappaa | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | bORB | 10 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loki Fire | 556 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | Harloh | 493 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | Fappaa | 401 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | RD Sniper | 248 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | ็ | 240 | 0.18 | 6 min |





