








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1980 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2445 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1596 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1183 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,418,869 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Loki Fire | 41% | 177 |
| #6 | Fappaa | 40% | 73 |
| #7 | Jenna Tolls | 39% | 199 |
| #8 | burnzyhq | 33% | 46 |
| #9 | KZoldyck | 30% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jenna Tolls | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Loki Fire | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Fappaa | 10 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | ็ | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | KZoldyck | 2 | 0.0011 |





