








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 327 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4852 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5958 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6162 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5621 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4742 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,675 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chicken | 63% | 30 |
| #2 | FRITZ FRIES | 63% | 43 |
| #3 | t3zz | 62% | 37 |
| #4 | Bo | 61% | 31 |
| #5 | -allancs | 60% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ✪ Avid | 54% | 26 |
| #9 | Lux | 52% | 61 |
| #10 | Jamie | 47% | 34 |
| #11 | swilLy | 45% | 31 |
| #12 | chance | 43% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -allancs | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | chance | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Lux | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | FRITZ FRIES | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | t3zz | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chance | 298 | 0.30 | 9 min |
| #2 | -allancs | 256 | 0.27 | 7 min |
| #3 | alex ♥ | 195 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lux | 157 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | swilLy | 151 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | t3zz | +2.00 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | zac0 | +0.88 | 47 | 70 |
| #3 | Chicken | +0.83 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | FRITZ FRIES | +0.80 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | alex ♥ | +0.79 | 57 | 77 |





