








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1843 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 642 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9752 | 32% |
| Smokes | 10680 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5872 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4137 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,451,067 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 380 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ffy | 56% | 71 |
| #2 | alex ♥ | 56% | 114 |
| #3 | Bo | 54% | 118 |
| #4 | rezzah | 53% | 72 |
| #5 | zac0 | 52% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | rezzah | 53% | 72 |
| #5 | zac0 | 52% | 61 |
| #6 | Senna | 51% | 177 |
| #7 | DirtySteve | 50% | 86 |
| #8 | chance | 49% | 253 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chance | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | zac0 | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | DirtySteve | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Senna | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Bo | 5 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chance | 1731 | 0.33 | 46 min |
| #2 | Senna | 793 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #3 | alex ♥ | 463 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | Bo | 389 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | DirtySteve | 351 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chance | +1.10 | 76 | 71 |
| #2 | Lux | +0.77 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | rezzah | +0.64 | 90 | 48 |
| #4 | zac0 | +0.12 | 47 | 70 |
| #5 | alex ♥ | +0.09 | 50 | 78 |





