








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1826 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1373 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1515 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1751 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1437 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,753 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jontelul | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | ^Flækker med Blicher | 58% | 33 |
| #3 | Nørskov | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | Roasted | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Hansiiiiii | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | knivstikker | 42% | 19 |
| #10 | TeakiX | 40% | 20 |
| #11 | ✪ Enzu | 29% | 17 |
| #12 | Holl3r | 29% | 17 |
| #13 | BOT | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0gfromsky | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | ^Flækker med Blicher | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | knivstikker | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Johnny Jawline | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | TeakiX | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0gfromsky | 349 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | ^Flækker med Blicher | 119 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Hampen | 94 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Johnny Jawline | 66 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jontelul | 66 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jontelul | +4.20 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | d0gfromsky | +1.82 | 66 | 75 |
| #3 | ✪ Enzu | +1.62 | 65 | 72 |
| #4 | Roasted | +0.75 | 70 | 65 |
| #5 | Hansiiiiii | -0.11 | 54 | 51 |





