








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
491 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 217 | 20% |
| Smokes | 350 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 161 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 368 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,468 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Backpack | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | bubls | 50% | 8 |
| #3 | TriceraQuach | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Sasquach | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | ser3ne | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | allyourlives | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | comiskey | 39% | 23 |
| #8 | Wiggz | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Pixnum | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | s4mple | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Backpack | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | allyourlives | 2 | 0.0132 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sasquach | 109 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #2 | comiskey | 103 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | TriceraQuach | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Backpack | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ser3ne | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiggz | +4.78 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | bubls | +2.09 | 90 | 58 |
| #3 | Magneseus | +0.95 | 77 | 54 |
| #4 | Sasquach | +0.62 | 80 | 46 |
| #5 | comiskey | +0.57 | 80 | 65 |





