








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2683 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4787 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1432 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3021 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,507,260 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 495 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bubls | 65% | 37 |
| #2 | comiskey | 63% | 106 |
| #3 | ser3ne | 58% | 208 |
| #4 | allyourlives | 51% | 43 |
| #5 | Magneseus | 47% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ser3ne | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | allyourlives | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | comiskey | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Backpack | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Wiggz | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | comiskey | 538 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | Backpack | 401 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | ser3ne | 264 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | s4mple | 124 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | TriceraQuach | 114 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wiggz | +3.22 | 77 | 49 |
| #2 | bubls | +2.10 | 90 | 58 |
| #3 | comiskey | +2.09 | 78 | 67 |
| #4 | Sasquach | +1.18 | 81 | 51 |
| #5 | Magneseus | +0.95 | 77 | 54 |





