








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 767 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1562 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1040 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1410 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,004,268 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ma1ce | 55% | 65 |
| #2 | kvorn1ng | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | Mr.Bubz | 51% | 124 |
| #4 | Patrick Clover | 47% | 110 |
| #5 | Peress0 | 47% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Patrick Clover | 47% | 110 |
| #5 | Peress0 | 47% | 94 |
| #6 | F1mple | 43% | 28 |
| #7 | RavneFar | 33% | 40 |
| #8 | Bollemester | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peress0 | 31 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Patrick Clover | 30 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | Ma1ce | 30 | 0.0221 |
| #4 | Mr.Bubz | 17 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | F1mple | 11 | 0.0198 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peress0 | 278 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Mr.Bubz | 188 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ma1ce | 143 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | kvorn1ng | 110 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | RavneFar | 92 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ma1ce | +5.42 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | kvorn1ng | +3.75 | 92 | 64 |
| #3 | F1mple | +3.15 | 77 | 59 |
| #4 | Peress0 | +0.59 | 55 | 60 |
| #5 | Patrick Clover | +0.53 | 76 | 48 |





