








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2021 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2837 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1929 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1448 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $934,774 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | richrickyc107 | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Winnie the Xi | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | Peachy Fruit Cat | 54% | 153 |
| #4 | Gnutmi | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | Wietboompje | 51% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Peachy Fruit Cat | 54% | 153 |
| #4 | Gnutmi | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | Wietboompje | 51% | 55 |
| #6 | Paw2k | 48% | 159 |
| #7 | Deadass22k | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paw2k | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Peachy Fruit Cat | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Gnutmi | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Winnie the Xi | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Deadass22k | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paw2k | 218 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | Peachy Fruit Cat | 187 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Winnie the Xi | 103 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gnutmi | 88 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wietboompje | 87 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winnie the Xi | +3.78 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | Peachy Fruit Cat | +1.23 | 73 | 60 |
| #3 | frog | +0.46 | 81 | 72 |
| #4 | Wietboompje | -0.76 | 44 | 49 |
| #5 | Deadass22k | -0.86 | 35 | 40 |





