








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2087 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3406 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2138 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1235 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1702 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $500,373 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SIMOPS44 | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | SoSa | 68% | 37 |
| #3 | SaltMinerJohn | 63% | 51 |
| #4 | Azz | 60% | 168 |
| #5 | Beckerleg | 56% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Azz | 60% | 168 |
| #5 | Beckerleg | 56% | 153 |
| #6 | Son So | 52% | 112 |
| #7 | JellyJam #CZ GANG!!! | 51% | 35 |
| #8 | GeT_WeLsH | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Son So | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Azz | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Beckerleg | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | SaltMinerJohn | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | SoSa | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beckerleg | 403 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Azz | 251 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | Son So | 205 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | SaltMinerJohn | 72 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | JellyJam #CZ GANG!!! | 58 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lime Juice | +2.94 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Beckerleg | +1.67 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | Azz | +1.65 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | SoSa | -0.24 | 67 | 50 |
| #5 | SaltMinerJohn | -0.43 | 33 | 58 |





