








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 252 | 29% |
| Smokes | 269 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 195 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 152 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,947 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ouchei | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | HaviG | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Muurari | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | naamapaab0b | 38% | 37 |
| #5 | jONKKER | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | HaviG | 47% | 17 |
| #3 | Muurari | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | naamapaab0b | 38% | 37 |
| #5 | jONKKER | 36% | 11 |
| #6 | Gosuedo | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naamapaab0b | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Muurari | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naamapaab0b | 208 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | jONKKER | 61 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Muurari | 44 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | HaviG | 30 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ouchei | 28 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jONKKER | +1.94 | 84 | 80 |
| #2 | naamapaab0b | +1.34 | 87 | 72 |
| #3 | ouchei | +1.18 | 67 | 74 |
| #4 | Gosuedo | -0.67 | 83 | 74 |
| #5 | Muurari | -1.14 | 67 | 73 |





