








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 845 | 26% |
| Smokes | 708 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 846 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 829 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $157,937 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pr1Mo | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Skukkis | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | JANEZI | 68% | 19 |
| #4 | Tonsei | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | ulma | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Dekkis | 29% | 7 |
| #16 | tane | 29% | 7 |
| #17 | Oukki | 25% | 4 |
| #18 | Ryhis | 25% | 4 |
| #19 | niskala ) | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muurari | 3 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | el Hipsy | 2 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | naamapaab0b | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Dekkis | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naamapaab0b | 133 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | jONKKER | 94 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | Tonsei | 67 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Muurari | 54 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | el Hipsy | 50 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JANEZI | +1.80 | 73 | 78 |
| #2 | naamapaab0b | +1.65 | 87 | 73 |
| #3 | Ryhis | +1.60 | 36 | 69 |
| #4 | koutsi | +1.34 | 76 | 76 |
| #5 | Gosuedo | +1.21 | 67 | 71 |





