








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
464 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 868 | 41% |
| Smokes | 485 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 505 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 256 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,883 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muurari | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | rane | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | jONKKER | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Esa NahGa | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | higu | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | HaviG | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | Sväne | 41% | 27 |
| #14 | naamapaab0b | 38% | 8 |
| #15 | gubbe | 36% | 11 |
| #16 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rane | 1 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sväne | 86 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tzone | 82 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Esa NahGa | 59 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | naamapaab0b | 52 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #5 | jONKKER | 35 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rane | +3.85 | 77 | 38 |
| #2 | naamapaab0b | +1.61 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | gubbe | +1.48 | 85 | 47 |
| #4 | TofiB [Chillaa baskaks] | +1.21 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | Esa NahGa | +1.02 | 71 | 68 |





