








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4536 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3463 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3336 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4366 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3939 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,025,150 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Android18 | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | mick | 59% | 88 |
| #3 | Good Guy Nick | 56% | 79 |
| #4 | 🌧probably dead☁ | 52% | 372 |
| #5 | TASH | 49% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | TASH | 49% | 94 |
| #6 | Jot | 48% | 29 |
| #7 | уaкoъ | 48% | 44 |
| #8 | The Business | 45% | 33 |
| #9 | IDIOTDOOMSPIRAL | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌧probably dead☁ | 33 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | IDIOTDOOMSPIRAL | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | mick | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | TASH | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | The Business | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 🌧probably dead☁ | 1252 | 0.17 | 31 min |
| #2 | mick | 303 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Good Guy Nick | 182 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | IDIOTDOOMSPIRAL | 182 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Jot | 146 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Android18 | +3.69 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | mick | +3.14 | 59 | 65 |
| #3 | Jot | +1.84 | 62 | 70 |
| #4 | IDIOTDOOMSPIRAL | +1.05 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | computerduster | +0.87 | 67 | 61 |





