








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 373 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3367 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3190 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2741 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2541 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2769 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $407,899 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuli #FotsShired | 67% | 57 |
| #2 | Red John | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | DaNi | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | Luzi | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | Shirley | 53% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuli #FotsShired | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Shirley | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Schnellmelk◥◣ ◢◤ | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | CrixX | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Frosty ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zuli #FotsShired | 134 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Red John | 122 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Shirley | 111 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Luzi | 107 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Frosty ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ | 61 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quick-Save | +4.19 | 83 | 70 |
| #2 | CrixX | +2.61 | 92 | 67 |
| #3 | DaNi | +2.61 | 79 | 57 |
| #4 | Zuli #FotsShired | +2.42 | 77 | 56 |
| #5 | Red John | +1.79 | 52 | 70 |





