








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2845 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1464 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 892 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1530 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,045 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coN | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | Bubs | 55% | 44 |
| #3 | spayn3 | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | nukelearbullet | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | CrankItMan | 50% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrankItMan | 10 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | ritzii | 9 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | Kroney | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Bubs | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | coN | 3 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrankItMan | 324 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Kroney | 216 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | nukelearbullet | 212 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #4 | ritzii | 190 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| #5 | spayn3 | 77 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CrankItMan | +2.07 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | spayn3 | +0.83 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | nukelearbullet | +0.79 | 62 | 68 |
| #4 | Kroney | +0.61 | 75 | 60 |
| #5 | Bubs | +0.55 | 77 | 65 |





