








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 442 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2058 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,683 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2304 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2249 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1880 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2250 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $790,846 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mato | 63% | 94 |
| #2 | Asklepios | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Karvapallero | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | siima | 57% | 51 |
| #5 | vrum vrum | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mato | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ayiaz | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Jarro | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Femorale | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | siima | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mato | 428 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #2 | ayiaz | 311 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Pöyhtäri | 301 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jarro | 297 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | Femorale | 191 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v0ppa | +1.83 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | siima | +1.33 | 69 | 65 |
| #3 | vrum vrum | +1.28 | 63 | 67 |
| #4 | sam4vimes | +1.21 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | ayiaz | +0.81 | 53 | 68 |





