








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
249 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 813 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 298 | 37% |
| Smokes | 171 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 159 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 185 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $105,666 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | tOmM1NS | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Ostrich | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | GrizzeZ | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Iljaech | 47% | 17 |
| #8 | ChRiSyLiE ツ | 36% | 11 |
| #9 | Kolumbus | 33% | 12 |
| #10 | Dake | 0% | 3 |
| #11 | SirRaffley | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tOmM1NS | 1 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | Noname | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Iljaech | 83 | 0.31 | 3 min |
| #2 | ChRiSyLiE ツ | 39 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Noname | 21 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kolumbus | 16 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Dake | 15 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrizzeZ | +9.16 | 85 | 14 |
| #2 | Ilaツ✞ | +5.64 | 50 | 51 |
| #3 | Noname | +4.30 | 56 | 73 |
| #4 | Kolumbus | +2.94 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | tOmM1NS | +1.43 | 80 | 53 |





