








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 431 matches | ||
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5097 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1885 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2692 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5281 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 3804 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,975,517 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 188 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob_Marley | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | derbmann [AUT] | 56% | 217 |
| #3 | ThE_F4me | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | Chris_7117 | 52% | 270 |
| #5 | OhSTrU | 51% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris_7117 | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | derbmann [AUT] | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Gerne | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | B4ll | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | ThE_F4me | 4 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OhSTrU | 826 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | eNox4k | 734 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #3 | Chris_7117 | 419 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #4 | Gerne | 411 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | chriswersonst | 271 | 0.19 | 7 min |





