








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 403 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,068 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1783 | 15% |
| Smokes | 3769 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2831 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3685 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,154,173 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fraunz | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Gerne | 64% | 55 |
| #3 | Heino | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | OhSTrU | 58% | 171 |
| #5 | Chris_7117 | 56% | 282 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris_7117 | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Heino | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #3 | Pin Occhio | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | eNox4k | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | die_grnen | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OhSTrU | 702 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #2 | eNox4k | 656 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | Chris_7117 | 497 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | Gerne | 206 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Pin Occhio | 184 | 0.04 | 6 min |





