








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1409 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 433 matches | ||
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 308 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11328 | 28% |
| Smokes | 11758 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 10669 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 7196 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,770,326 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1479 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PUUUHAHEKE | 64% | 56 |
| #2 | 42fps jalmari | 58% | 79 |
| #3 | MahtiLimppu | 55% | 326 |
| #4 | Xyverie | 53% | 120 |
| #5 | i'm potato | 53% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | MYY | 43% | 81 |
| #14 | manuli | 42% | 91 |
| #15 | MentallyUnstable | 42% | 96 |
| #16 | Valtsukkeli | 40% | 86 |
| #17 | ✪Heke | 38% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuluppu | 20 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ❀ mimi ❀ | 19 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Xyverie | 17 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Hippuli | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | MahtiLimppu | 11 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tuluppu | 1072 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #2 | MahtiLimppu | 635 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #3 | Xyverie | 525 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | Hippuli | 396 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | i'm potato | 290 | 0.14 | 8 min |





