








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1853 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 194 matches | ||
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 130 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7371 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8475 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9280 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 6444 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,067,350 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 848 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Hippuli | 50% | 326 |
| #13 | EKstrs | 49% | 81 |
| #14 | Valtsukkeli | 48% | 321 |
| #15 | Artsi | 46% | 115 |
| #16 | ✪Heke | 43% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❀ mimi ❀ | 26 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | i'm potato | 23 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Hippuli | 21 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Valtsukkeli | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | tuluppu | 12 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i'm potato | 1402 | 0.18 | 36 min |
| #2 | Kaladin 폭풍의 축복 | 865 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | Hippuli | 793 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #4 | tuluppu | 647 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #5 | Valtsukkeli | 434 | 0.07 | 9 min |





