








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 883 | 16% |
| Smokes | 677 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2311 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1647 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,272,167 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Infamousエンゼル | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | Preston Your Local Tren Abuser | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | The Real CaspA | 48% | 268 |
| #4 | RaZeR | 47% | 96 |
| #5 | M.G.B | 45% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Preston Your Local Tren Abuser | 50% | 36 |
| #3 | The Real CaspA | 48% | 268 |
| #4 | RaZeR | 47% | 96 |
| #5 | M.G.B | 45% | 92 |
| #6 | LockiT | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Real CaspA | 12 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | M.G.B | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | RaZeR | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Infamousエンゼル | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Real CaspA | 375 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #2 | M.G.B | 237 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | RaZeR | 130 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Infamousエンゼル | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Preston Your Local Tren Abuser | 49 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LockiT | +5.15 | 70 | 71 |
| #2 | Preston Your Local Tren Abuser | +2.47 | 66 | 65 |
| #3 | Infamousエンゼル | +1.83 | 41 | 51 |
| #4 | RaZeR | +0.94 | 41 | 50 |
| #5 | M.G.B | -0.15 | 35 | 57 |





