










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 26 matches | 1,827 | |
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
705 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 486 | 27% |
| Smokes | 308 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 511 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 513 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $274,281 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 264 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nasse | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | Phayy'' | 43% | 7 |
| #6 | zacke | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | kelz | 40% | 5 |
| #8 | mercedes enjoyer | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Munkkkk) | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | mercedes enjoyer | 1 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Phayy'' | 1 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | kelz | 1 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nasse | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | Munkkkk) | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | zacke | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | Volvo T8 Peek | 14 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | mercedes enjoyer | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nasse | +3.29 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | mercedes enjoyer | +1.32 | 76 | 66 |
| #3 | lovesosa | +0.86 | 81 | 54 |
| #4 | Volvo T8 Peek | +0.76 | 68 | 47 |
| #5 | zacke | +0.66 | 66 | 64 |





