








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 488 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1198 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1087 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 579 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $554,087 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapoler | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | MasterBlasterNL | 57% | 94 |
| #3 | Bazz | 57% | 136 |
| #4 | shibble.cfg -13- | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | แดแดษดแด๊ฑ | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bazz | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | -Noah- | 3 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | MasterBlasterNL | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bazz | 422 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | แดแดษดแด๊ฑ | 153 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #3 | MasterBlasterNL | 81 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | shibble.cfg -13- | 79 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | -Noah- | 49 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapoler | +4.68 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | shibble.cfg -13- | +2.22 | 70 | 72 |
| #3 | MasterBlasterNL | +1.25 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | -Noah- | +0.59 | 47 | 53 |
| #5 | Bazz | +0.57 | 70 | 59 |





