








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 780 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 483 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9659 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9280 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8328 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7911 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,930 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 619 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petski | 59% | 59 |
| #2 | Miedemantus | 51% | 74 |
| #3 | Bazz | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | Dev!l | 49% | 157 |
| #5 | dafi | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘎𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘺 | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Dev!l | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Bazz | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | entity | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Petski | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dev!l | 349 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Bazz | 287 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | 𝘎𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘺 | 198 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | entity | 162 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | dafi | 137 | 0.14 | 4 min |





