








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 166 | 14% |
| Smokes | 408 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 345 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 242 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $572,919 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WMD | 47% | 59 |
| #2 | MiniWong | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Gissel | 44% | 94 |
| #4 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | 42% | 84 |
| #5 | Discountmalli | 41% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | 42% | 84 |
| #5 | Discountmalli | 41% | 83 |
| #6 | Redneck Ronnie | 39% | 33 |
| #7 | fisso | 33% | 9 |
| #8 | Hardeknud | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gissel | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Redneck Ronnie | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | 122 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Gissel | 102 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Discountmalli | 96 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Redneck Ronnie | 55 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | fisso | 33 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | +4.06 | 80 | 70 |
| #2 | fisso | +2.18 | 71 | 74 |
| #3 | Gissel | -0.15 | 48 | 56 |
| #4 | WMD | -0.27 | 32 | 52 |
| #5 | MiniWong | -0.77 | 35 | 38 |





