








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1606 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2328 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1764 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1357 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $791,254 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiniWong | 56% | 34 |
| #2 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | 51% | 153 |
| #3 | WMD | 50% | 117 |
| #4 | fisso | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Gissel | 48% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gissel | 48% | 164 |
| #6 | SkudtAf | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | Redneck Ronnie | 45% | 76 |
| #8 | lensi\pizza | 41% | 83 |
| #9 | Hardeknud | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | WMD | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Gissel | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | lensi\pizza | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Hardeknud | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | 237 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | Gissel | 148 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Redneck Ronnie | 104 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hardeknud | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | WMD | 43 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | +3.94 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Gissel | +0.53 | 45 | 58 |
| #3 | fisso | +0.28 | 61 | 71 |
| #4 | WMD | +0.08 | 30 | 52 |
| #5 | MiniWong | -0.46 | 28 | 46 |





