








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2337 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2842 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1846 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1723 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,074,715 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fisso | 52% | 23 |
| #2 | Discountmalli | 51% | 153 |
| #3 | Hardeknud | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Gissel | 48% | 222 |
| #5 | WMD | 47% | 155 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gissel | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | WMD | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Redneck Ronnie | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | lensi\pizza | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | MiniWong | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gissel | 201 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #2 | Discountmalli | 194 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Redneck Ronnie | 124 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | SkudtAf | 89 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | fisso | 69 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | +3.52 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | fisso | +0.89 | 69 | 76 |
| #3 | Gissel | +0.43 | 44 | 59 |
| #4 | WMD | -0.27 | 29 | 53 |
| #5 | MiniWong | -0.85 | 32 | 43 |





