








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
337 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 300 | 19% |
| Smokes | 409 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 473 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 415 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $351,096 of utility $278 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiniWong | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | fisso | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Gissel | 44% | 54 |
| #5 | Redneck Ronnie | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gissel | 44% | 54 |
| #5 | Redneck Ronnie | 44% | 16 |
| #6 | WMD | 43% | 23 |
| #7 | Discountmalli | 39% | 44 |
| #8 | lensi\pizza | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gissel | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gissel | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Discountmalli | 65 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | fisso | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Redneck Ronnie | 26 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ 𝚖𝟷𝚜𝚝 | +3.64 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | MiniWong | +1.43 | 39 | 35 |
| #3 | fisso | +1.23 | 64 | 73 |
| #4 | Gissel | +0.16 | 40 | 60 |
| #5 | WMD | -0.25 | 37 | 51 |





