








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 221 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,985 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2329 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2800 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2466 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2390 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,820 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doughboy | 58% | 163 |
| #2 | sloink | 56% | 68 |
| #3 | Posing Frog | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | immortal bot | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | Kers | 53% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | moss | 52% | 134 |
| #7 | Origorn | 51% | 162 |
| #8 | gyafun | 49% | 145 |
| #9 | cats | 46% | 37 |
| #10 | Alb1 | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Origorn | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Kers | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Doughboy | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | gyafun | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | moss | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kers | 834 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #2 | Origorn | 619 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #3 | gyafun | 292 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Doughboy | 176 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | sloink | 119 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | immortal bot | +2.34 | 80 | 50 |
| #2 | Kers | +2.18 | 65 | 72 |
| #3 | Origorn | +1.14 | 50 | 72 |
| #4 | cats | +1.10 | 77 | 54 |
| #5 | reez | +0.07 | 82 | 68 |





