








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1490 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3566 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3803 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4171 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $785,660 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoSo | 58% | 92 |
| #2 | ThatCowHugger | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | Galaxy | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoSo | 58% | 92 |
| #2 | ThatCowHugger | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | Galaxy | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Galaxy | 20 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | LoSo | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ThatCowHugger | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoSo | 249 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | ThatCowHugger | 94 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Galaxy | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoSo | +1.94 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | Polaris | +0.90 | 53 | 46 |
| #3 | ThatCowHugger | +0.83 | 76 | 43 |
| #4 | Galaxy | -0.94 | 73 | 37 |





