








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2409 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2125 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1198 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1704 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $637,113 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jawillez | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | marvelousspirit | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | *Fly_High* | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Rouv3n | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | ChrissiTw0w | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | *Fly_High* | 372 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | Rouv3n | 244 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | marvelousspirit | 242 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | jawillez | 237 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | m4Ssa | 218 | 0.23 | 4 min |





