








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1625 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1436 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1436 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1392 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $321,640 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Myllymäen Timo | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Veltto | 58% | 71 |
| #3 | :3 | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | faltsu | 46% | 96 |
| #5 | Olii | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | :3 | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | faltsu | 46% | 96 |
| #5 | Olii | 45% | 66 |
| #6 | NÄSTY | 43% | 81 |
| #7 | Tomeliuz | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NÄSTY | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Olii | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | faltsu | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Veltto | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Tomeliuz | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NÄSTY | 346 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | faltsu | 311 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | :3 | 283 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Olii | 209 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Veltto | 198 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tomeliuz | +1.57 | 81 | 73 |
| #2 | NÄSTY | +1.06 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | :3 | +0.90 | 70 | 71 |
| #4 | Olii | +0.49 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | Topsuuu | +0.04 | 69 | 71 |





