








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1412 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1475 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1399 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1027 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $107,047 of utility $37 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Myllymäen Timo | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | Veltto | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | Topsuuu | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | faltsu | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | NÄSTY | 45% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Veltto | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | Topsuuu | 48% | 95 |
| #4 | faltsu | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | NÄSTY | 45% | 73 |
| #6 | Olii | 42% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NÄSTY | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Olii | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Topsuuu | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | Veltto | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NÄSTY | 332 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | faltsu | 308 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Topsuuu | 296 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Olii | 238 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Veltto | 142 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NÄSTY | +1.13 | 68 | 69 |
| #2 | :3 | +0.84 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | Olii | +0.15 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | Topsuuu | -0.03 | 69 | 71 |
| #5 | Veltto | -0.59 | 67 | 64 |





